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At the end of the school year my daughter (age 10) started hanging out with a new friend and we saw a drastic change in her behavior. Suddenly has a big attitude. They are already making plans for getting together over the summer … should I not let her see her? Suggestions please!

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SchoolFamily Q&A > Bullying/Teasing/Peer Pressure > bad influence
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Question: bad influence

At the end of the school year my daughter (age 10) started hanging out with a new friend and we saw a drastic change in her behavior. Suddenly has a big attitude. They are already making plans for getting together over the summer … should I not let her see her? Suggestions please!


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TimPTO writes:
Yeah, definitely a tricky one. Even trickier in another couple of years, as your control lessens (and your daughter's perceptiveness increases). I find that a a multi-faceted approach is the way to go. First, I do think it's OK to have discussions about behaviors and habits, especially in a way that doesn't directly make the new friend the villain. It's important that your expectations for your kids be repeated. Second, while I wouldn't "ban" the new friend (unless there was a dangerousness issue or the like) you still do have the ability to affect schedule. Which activities do you choose for family? Where do you go? Are you encouraging your daughter to remian active in multiple areas? Reinforcing and modeling the behaviors you like and providing her lots of opportunities to meet lots of different kids should in the end help her to find a peer group that you're pretty comfortable with.
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