Schoolfamily.com - Helping parents help their kids succeed at school

Hi I am having a problem with my son acting up in kindergarten. He has never went to preschool or daycare. He had went to school for only four days and he goes only 2 and 1/2 hours a day. She said her and her helper think that he is ADHD. After four days please. We just moved, had to get rid of our dog, he lost his baby sister three years ago, 2 of his grandfathers, and got a new puppy. I have worked with him since he was 3 on writing, reading, shapes, and much more. I think he is stressed out. The class size is 23 kids. They are doing things in class that he already knows. I feel like that is part of the problem. His teacher sent me a note home that said he hit two kids at school th other day. She went into no form of detail at all. Come to find out he did it becaue the one kid hit him in the chest on his (boob) which we told him no one is to touch him there cause its wrong. And the other kid shoved him so he shoved back. Yes, my son should of walked away so he did get a time out for it. However, why did they him be the victim of bullying? If they would of stoped the bullying none of this would of happened. I am so upset and have no clue on what to do. She sent us an email and she feels that my son is not capable of listening cause he has all the signs of ADHD. She talks about ADHD at least 3-4 times in her email. Talk about trying to force a parent to medicate their child. I will not out my son on any of those harmful meds ever. What should I do? We are asking her to give him more time to adjust to his new surroundings. We read him books every night about how his is to act at school. Please comment.




Advertisement
SchoolFamily Q&A > Elementary School > Kindergartener acting up- teacher says he has ADHD- REPOSTED FOR AMBER
Please wait... Ask a Question

Question: Kindergartener acting up- teacher says he has ADHD- REPOSTED FOR AMBER

Hi I am having a problem with my son acting up in kindergarten. He has never went to preschool or daycare. He had went to school for only four days and he goes only 2 and 1/2 hours a day. She said her and her helper think that he is ADHD. After four days please. We just moved, had to get rid of our dog, he lost his baby sister three years ago, 2 of his grandfathers, and got a new puppy. I have worked with him since he was 3 on writing, reading, shapes, and much more. I think he is stressed out. The class size is 23 kids. They are doing things in class that he already knows. I feel like that is part of the problem. His teacher sent me a note home that said he hit two kids at school th other day. She went into no form of detail at all. Come to find out he did it becaue the one kid hit him in the chest on his (boob) which we told him no one is to touch him there cause its wrong. And the other kid shoved him so he shoved back. Yes, my son should of walked away so he did get a time out for it. However, why did they him be the victim of bullying? If they would of stoped the bullying none of this would of happened. I am so upset and have no clue on what to do. She sent us an email and she feels that my son is not capable of listening cause he has all the signs of ADHD. She talks about ADHD at least 3-4 times in her email. Talk about trying to force a parent to medicate their child. I will not out my son on any of those harmful meds ever. What should I do? We are asking her to give him more time to adjust to his new surroundings. We read him books every night about how his is to act at school. Please comment.


Answer It!


Answers:

Advice from School Family and Our Experts

cmccarthy writes:
Reading to your child every night, and talking about proper school behavior is one of the best things a parent can do to help their child be successful in school. Often it does take a while for a young child to adjust to all the rules of a new school setting, especially if your child tends to be more active. However, the only person who is qualified to diagnose ADHD is a physician. It appears that you have received the teacher's concerns only through notes and e-mails. You should request a meeting with the teacher and any additional resource people that the school can provide. Take notes at the conference! Write down all the concerns that the teacher has about your son's behavior. Then make an appointment with your pediatrician, telling the doctor all the facts. If the pediatrician confirms an ADHD diagnosis, clearly tell him or her that you want to proceed with non-medication strategies. Situations just like this occur at the start of every school year. Communicate with your son's teacher, and place trust in your doctor's advice. They both have your child's best interest at heart.
- Connie
Connie's Classroom
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     0


Community Advice

ErinTM writes:
Hey Amber, I think it's unprofessional for teh teachers to label your child like this. Ask to speak with the school counselor and have him tested.
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     2
     0


Community Advice

KELLY5431 writes:
Amber, I feel your pain...after 5 1/2 HOURS with my child the teacher called me & complained that my daughter is VERY active and she doesn't know what to do. Now my daughter has been in daycare since she was 3 mos old so she is a very social child and loves to explore new things and after sitiing in her classroom I can see why she wants to wander around & check everthing out. I kid you not from floor to ceiling front to back there is crap to look at & touch. So after only 5 days at 3 1/2 hrs a day I received a note that they want to have a meeting with the social worker. After the 2nd day when I heard from the teacher it was hinted at that I should have her tested for either ADD or ADHD. I know my daughter does not like to sit and be bored but my gosh after this short of time, I have also requested that they let the newness wear off a bit but gee tonight I am off to see the social worker already. I think because of the over crowding (28 in my daughter's class) they want little droids sitting there doing nothing saying nothing that way they don't have to deal with any problems what so ever. Kindergarten is no longer for KIDS, it is for mini adults. I have already told the principal as well as the social worker I will NOT be drugging my kid on the advice of 2 unquailfied school personnel. Good luck to you, I know we both have battles on our hands right now and we have to do what we feel in our hearts is best for ours kids as that these "PROFESSIONALS" seem to think they know it all.
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     1
     0


Community Advice

mdshirley writes:
Amber, My daughter, age 11, has predominantly inattentive adhd. She is not hyper at all. She cannot focus or pay attention and it severely affected her school work. She is now in the 6th grade. The symptoms were there (looking back) in the 2nd grade. I did not want to put my child on medication but honestly, it is the best thing I have ever done. She is now able to concentrate and get better grades. Her teachers did not suggest adhd at any point so if his teachers are bringing it up then maybe it is something to think about. I wish I had had my daughter tested before we reached the 5th grade. Her life would have been so much easier. I realize your son has had many problems to deal with and that could definitely be causing him to act up. The only thing I am saying is don't discount the possibility of a problem completely. Have him tested. What is the worst that can happen? Being diagnosed as ADHD is not the end of the world and if knowing that can help you help him, wouldn't it be worth a shot? If his dianosis is definitely not ADHD, then you can update the teachers and you will have done your part as a parent. I only wish I had had her tested sooner!!!!
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     4
     0


Community Advice

pope writes:
It is not appropriate for the teacher to even discuss ADHD in Kindergarten; I live in NC and they are not even allowed to suggest such things until 3rd grade, it sounds like your son is having trouble adjusting so if you can fit it in try having lunch with him at school once aweek or voluntering in his classroom; it may make his transition easier.
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     1


Community Advice

Amorita writes:
Oh Amber, I so feel for your pain. You are your child's advocate. You know what is best for YOUR child. Don't let yourself be bullied by the teacher(s) . Keep an open forum between yourself & the principal. I recall something being told to me by a sub once when our son was in K.about ADHD! He is in in 2nd.grade now and one of the top kids in class ALL WITHOUT MED(NO ADHD) What a joke...
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     1
     0


Community Advice

bettyclares writes:
Maybe you can help in the class so you can see for yourself what is going on. If this is not something you can do, maybe you can go once? You need to keep a line of communication open with the teacher and if that is not possible I would have him put in another class with a different teacher! I can't believe they are suggesting ADHD in a kindergartener! Every child has a different approach to new things! I would get involved in the class, or if your still having trouble with the teacher ask to switch teachers! I did that when one of my sons was in second grade and what a difference it made! Teachers have different styles and some can't handle boys! Good luck to you!
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     1


Community Advice

italajabu writes:
i myself am a preschool teacher and have had the unfortunate event of asking a parent to please get help in evaluation or talking to a child's pediatrician about what we can do. Two out of three time the children were diagnosed with ADHD and the other was sensory integration disorder. These kids were treated and are now so much happier in my class that they can focus, are not controlled by their impulses, and are able to spend quality time with the other children. It does not hurt to get your child evaluated. If there is nothing going on, then you can throw that back at your child's teacher, but if there is an issue that needs addressing, then your child gets the help they need to succeed and to have a good time in their schooling. The professional can also tell you different ways to manage behaviors that you can pass along to your child's teacher. Yes, I am a preschool teacher, but I do have an Early Childhood degree as well as a Child Deveopment Associate. I have had these few children in my room with such low impulse control that out of 20 parents in my room, 18 have come to me sayin their child is talking about this particular child at home and how much they take up our time. It doesn't hurt to get an evaluation or assessment, the only thing it's going to do is help everyone involved, especially your own child! It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your child, it just means they may need a little extra help in being successful in their schooling career!
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     0


Community Advice

italajabu writes:
As an add-on to my previous answer, these children I suggested help for, I observed and wrote down some serious notes for a month and then went to the parents to let them know what I saw as a pattern or what was going on. These children I had had serious impulse control issues or wandering and were not meeting their milestones or even milestones underneath them. As an early childhood teacher, it is our duty to make sure we get them the earliest possible help for any kind of learning issues or attention issues so they do succeed in school after preschool. The earlier the intervention and help, the better student your child can be. And again, it doesn't hurt to get your child evaluated. Your child will be the one hurting if they do end up needing help and you are too "angry" with yourself and your child's teacher for even suggesting help is needed. Don't let it go too long. These children are in our care (as a preschool teacher) for sometimes up to 10 hours a day. We are around these children sometimes more than the parents are and see how they act and behave in a group setting, which is what elementary, middle, and high school is. Don't set your child up for failure if there is help our there and available.
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     0


Community Advice

italajabu writes:
Again, I'm sorry, I did not read your entire post-as a teacher, I have never even suggested a diagnosis, just the symptoms and behaviors. Also, ask her to write down observations and take notes on behvaiors that you can take solid evidence to soemone if you should choose to seek help. It does sound like your son jsut needs to adjust. I myself do have 3 young boys and am a single parent. My oldest is in Kindergarten now and had a very rough first few weeks. He is perfectly fine now and is excelling, yet in preschool (same one I work at)-he is a monster and has been since he turned 2. A teacher had suggested I get him evaluated and I did and it turned out the situationa nd fmaily situation was what was affecting his behavior. BUT, the psychologist evaluating him gave some excellent tips for both home and school that worked wonders! IT DOESN'T HURT TO GET EVALUATED!
  • Did you find this answer useful?

     0
     0


Answer this question: