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Can someone please give me some good advice on how to get your 13 yr old daughter to understand that you are for them and not against them. How to get your 13 yr old daughter to want to include you in there world and trust the things you are trying to teach them without feeling like you are trying to take there fun away from them. I am trying to build a relationship with my daughter, one that allows her to talk with me openly about anything and truly take what i say to heart and want to be guided by me. Right now she takes the opinions of her peers over us and I am fearful that the outcome will not be a good one. Need help please!!!!! Just want incite on what is the secret to raising a respectful daughter and to one day be her best friend and not enemy. I definitely want responses from mothers who have phenomenal relationships with their daughters currently not book advice please

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Question: 13 yr old daughter

Can someone please give me some good advice on how to get your 13 yr old daughter to understand that you are for them and not against them. How to get your 13 yr old daughter to want to include you in there world and trust the things you are trying to teach them without feeling like you are trying to take there fun away from them. I am trying to build a relationship with my daughter, one that allows her to talk with me openly about anything and truly take what i say to heart and want to be guided by me. Right now she takes the opinions of her peers over us and I am fearful that the outcome will not be a good one. Need help please!!!!! Just want incite on what is the secret to raising a respectful daughter and to one day be her best friend and not enemy. I definitely want responses from mothers who have phenomenal relationships with their daughters currently not book advice please

Answers:

Advice from School Family and Our Experts

Lisa @ School Family writes:
Hi Katja-I have a 16 year old daughter whom I feel I have a great relationship with. When she was 13 and started to, as you said, listen to the opinions of her peers more than me, I also felt a bit panicked (and sad). I think these emotions created a dynamic in our relationship for a while that was not good. I was being over bearing and distrustful and she reacted by shutting down. Once I came to terms with the fact that this is completely normal behavior and part of the growing up process I was able flip the negative energy between us. What I find works is: listening without judging and reacting, freedom with boundaries, empathizing with situations that I sometimes think are are silly but I know are very important to her, and ALWAYS making respect a top priority. She may be a teen but we never back down from disrespectful behavior. Also, do the best you can to establish routines that provide opportunities to connect and have conversations. For example, we try to always eat as a family and I still tuck my kids in. Would love to hear from other parents of teens!