School Family

This is a guest post by Angela Norton Tyler, of Family Homework Answers. Angela is a teacher and parent from the Sacramento, California area. She has been a classroom teacher, an elementary school reading specialist, and has taught courses at the college level. With a special focus on helping parents help their children become better students, Angela has put her energies into teaching parents how to improve the homework and reading skills of their children. In 2005, Angela published Tutor Your Child to Reading Success, and now conducts seminars about reading and homework for parents and teachers all over the west coast of  the United States. She also publishes Family Homework Answers, a site “devoted to helping parents and their children deal with homework.”

Parents often wonder if they should let their kids take a break after school before starting their homework. I understand the dilemma. One the one hand, it seems reasonable to let our children have a quick snack and a few minutes of free time. On the other hand, we want those little rascals to get that homework done and out of the way! In my experience, the Do It Now! approach does work for some students (see the quiz on Homework Personality), but most children really do need a substantial break after school.

Uh-oh.

Of course you’re worried. You try to be nice and give your kids a break, and the next thing you know “a few minutes of watching TV” has turned into a few hours, a big fight and a ruined evening, right? So, what is a parent to do?

Make some Homework Sandwiches! There are only two steps:

1. Sit down with your child and discuss which activities they would like to do before and after homework. It is important to let your child come up with his own, reasonable ideas. You want him to be motivated but realistic (no, we aren’t going to the movies every night!). You might be surprised by what kids find enjoyable- and how much they really want our undivided attention. In my case, I learned that my children want to help me make dinner! Who knew that what I view as a chore- cooking dinner- was a treat to them?

2. Agree that your child will be able to do one fun activity before and one fun activity after homework. Fun-homework-fun. A homework sandwich!

Here are some Homework Sandwich ideas:

- Play a video game for 15 minutes/ homework/ shoot hoops with Dad
- Eat a favorite snack/ homework/ watch TV for an hour
- Watch one TV show/ homework/ help with dinner
- Talk on phone for 20 minutes/ homework/ talk on phone forever
- Ride bike for 30 minutes/ homework/ play cards with Mom
- Eat a snack/ homework/ take a bubble bath while Mom reads Harry Potter

Some quick words of advice:

- Put a time limit on the first activity. The easiest way to solve this problem? The kitchen timer. Set it, and when it rings- homework!

- Don’t allow your child to have the second fun “slice” if he or she does not do their homework. After all, a sandwich is not all “bread” and no “filling!”

- Keep a visual homework sandwich “reminder” posted on the fridge or family bulletin board. This way, nobody forgets that it’s only one TV show before homework and not two.

Many parents- including myself- have found great success using homework sandwiches. You will find that if your children are allowed to do something enjoyable right before and immediately after homework, they start to associate homework with those fun activities. The entire process becomes a package deal in their sweet, little minds. (Pavlov, anyone?) The best part is that your children will know exactly what they need to do after school- and how long they can do it. And, because they chose the activities themselves, they are much more invested in the entire process.

One last thing: don’t faint when your child says, “I want to hurry up and do my homework so I can…”

This is a guest by post by Angela Norton Tyler, of Family Homework Answers. Angela is a teacher and parent from the Sacramento, California area. She has been a classroom teacher, an elementary school reading specialist, and has taught courses at the college level. With a special focus on helping parents help their children become better students, Angela has put her energies into teaching parents how to improve the homework and reading skills of their children. In 2005, Angela published Tutor Your Child to Reading Success, and now conducts seminars about reading and homework for parents and teachers all over the west coast of  the United States. She also publishes Family Homework Answers, a site “devoted to helping parents and their children deal with homework.”

Parents often approach me at workshops, at school or through my site wanting to know the best way to solve their family homework problems. They are tired of the tears, the fighting, the never-ending homework struggles. Parents have homework questions, and they want homework answers!

They want to know:

- What is the best time to do homework?
- Where is the best place to do homework?
- Is it okay to have the TV on during homework? The radio?
- Should a child take a break during homework? How long?
- How often should parents remind their children to do their homework?

These are all legitimate questions, but before I- or anybody else- can answer them, parents must understand their child’s homework personality.

Homework personality? What?!?

Teachers and educators recognize that each student has an unique learning style. Some are visual or sight learners; others are auditory or hearing learners; and, kinesthetic learners learn best through touch. Good teachers try to incorporate all three of these learning styles into lessons so that every student has the opportunity to best grasp the material.

Your child’s homework personality suggests the unique way in which he or she best studies, learns and does homework. What gets them in the “homework groove?” Where are they most comfortable in your home? When during the day are they the most relaxed yet productive? Do they work best alone or around others? When you are able to answer these types of questions, it is easy to set up a schedule and environment that best supports your child’s homework personality.

Remember, every child is unique! What works for one of your children may not work for another! Some kids need absolute quiet in order to concentrate; others can work just fine in a noisy, crowded room. Some children should come straight home from school and get started on their homework, while others can wait a few hours- or even until the next morning. I’ve known families where one child does his homework at a desk in his bedroom, while his sister sprawls on the family room floor.

Last Sunday around 8 PM, I noticed my middle-school daughter sitting at the dining room table. She was completing a social studies assignment that wasn’t due until later in the week. Now, that’s not how I would have spent my Sunday evening, but I understand that my daughter cannot relax knowing that something (anything!) is due. Hmm. This got me to thinking…

Did my third-grade son have any homework?

He had no idea. He had forgotten his backpack at school.

Needless to say, my children have different homework personalities!  One of them likes to come in and get started on her homework, the other one does not. One needs to be reminded to do his homework, the other one does not. Giving them the same homework rules, breaks, environment, etc. would not only be a waste of my time, it would frustrate and upset them (at least one of them!)

Take the Homework Personality Quiz and figure out how to best support your child’s unique homework personality. The quiz a lot of fun, and it will really get you thinking about how your child works, learns and studies. Share your answers with your family members, make some decisions, and get ready for homework time to get a whole lot easier!

This is a guest post by Cindy Golden from www.omacconsulting.blogspot.com. Cindy is a Special Education Supervisor with the Cherokee County, Georgia School District.  She has been in special education for the last 26 years.  Cindy was employed as a Psychologist, serving several schools K-12.  She also served several years as the Psychologist in a psychoeducational center which served students with severe emotional and behavioral disabilities in addition to Intellectual Disabilities and Autism Spectrum Disorders. Cindy is the author of a popular blog: www.omacconsulting.blogspot.com which focuses on the education and parenting of students with autism.  Cindy also has a book on autism that should be published soon.

“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Remember that line? Well, if you have walked into today’s classrooms, you might very well be echoing that sentiment.  Things are not the same as when you grew up.  Still, in order to help your child be successful in school, you have to understand today’s classroom.

In order to understand today’s classroom, you have to be informed and be involved.

Here’s what you need to do to be informed:

•    Know the Standards

Teachers’ plans are based on state standards and the students’ standardized testing is, of course, also based on standards.  Do you know the standards on which your child’s academic day is based?  There are ways to find these.  You can contact your school district or your state’s Department of Education website for a copy of these standards.

•    Understand the Curriculum Map

Do you remember getting your new books at the beginning of the school year?  As children, we would flip through the books, scanning the chapters and what we were going to study.  The teacher’s goal would be to complete the book by the end of the year – not before – but timed perfectly to the end of the year.

Well it isn’t done that way anymore.  Today, curriculum is based on standards and not the textbook.  Teachers use a plan or a map to accomplish the standards, hence the name ‘curriculum mapping’.   Ask your child’s teacher for a syllabus or plan for each subject for the year.  It helps you to know what is coming up and when.

Now here’s what you can do to get involved:

•    Get a copy of the standards for your child’s grade
•    Create a calm, peaceful home area in which your child can do schoolwork
•    Establish a routine
•    Be available to assist your child with schoolwork
•    Plan ahead with your child for upcoming projects and tests
•    Don’t do anything for your child that he or she is capable of doing
•    Be in weekly contact with your child’s teacher.
•    If your school district has an online website that enables you to track your child’s grades, learn how to use the website
•    Get involved in your child’s school

This is a guest post by Vanessa Van Petten from OnTeensToday.com. Vanessa wrote a parenting book when she was 17, called “You’re Grounded!” and is now on a national speaking tour, reaching out to both parents and teenagers about how to cope and thrive as young people today. She is also working as a popular young parenting coach in California. Her daily blog, OnTeensToday.com is read by hundreds of teens and parents daily.  She was featured on CBS 4 Miami and Fox 5 New York and has been in the Wall Street Journal, the Santa Monica Daily Press, Atlanta Insite Magazine and the World Journal.  She has been an expert on Playboy Radio, KBUR, WCOJ Philadelphia and more for giving a young perspective on awesome parenting.

I was not typically a teacher’s pet…although I will not deny that I always wanted to be.  I talk a lot to teens and middle school and elementary school kids about how to put your best foot forward with teachers—they actually love getting these tips.  I think that parents should actually talk more about this with their kids.   Just as much as parents want their kids to be liked in the classroom, kids also want to be praised and have a strong relationship with their teachers.

1) Get One on One Time Just Because
I think it is really important for kids to always take one on one time with teachers if they are struggling or having a problem with the material.  But, I actually make every single one of my clients schedule meetings with all of their teachers at the beginning of the year to introduce themselves and get to know the teacher a little bit.  Teachers are so crucial in our kid’s lives and I think it is good for kids to take note of this by scheduling a 5-minute meeting.

2) Respect Them When They Are Not Looking
I was going to have one of these tips be to respect them in general, but I think that one is obvious…and applies to all human beings not just teachers!  I love to point out to students that you never know when a teacher is listening.  And respecting them ‘behind their back’ is just as important as respecting them to their face.  If friends are complaining or you get a bad grade you do not like, calling them a name is never appropriate and teachers can pick up on the hostility.

3) Encourage Friends
When I talk to students I usually have them try to envision themselves walking in on the first day of school as the teacher and then trying to get 30 friends to like you, listen to you and learn something.  They always are shocked at this idea and say things like, “oh ya, I guess it’s really scary!”  They can help teachers feel more comfortable and (like them more) by encouraging others to be quiet, listen or respect him or her more.

4) Ask Questions
Teachers usually love when students ask questions because it shows them that students are engaged and that they are trying.  You would think this one is common sense, but you would be surprised at how many of my kids disagree with me on this point, saying things like,
“I am afraid she will think it is a dumb question.”
“He might think I was not listening.”
“But won’t they be annoyed I am interrupting them??”

5) Ask the Right Questions
I always say the above student concerns are not true as long as your questions are:
-Not interrupting
-Respectful
-On Topic
-If they are something already said, just say, “I am sorry I think I missed something would you remind repeating? If not, I can come to you after class.”

6) Try
Your student does not have to be the best in class to be liked by a teacher.  I think most teachers just want to see that their students are really trying to do well.  If you do your best, don’t worry about the rest.
Sit down with your kids and show them this post, ask them if they agree or if they would make any suggestions.  Most important is to get the conversation started and get them thinking about how to make their school lives better for them and their teachers.

My son received a card in the mail from his new teacher welcoming him to 4th grade. The teacher included the much-anticipated supply list. Fortunately, I already have a good number of items on it (like the glue sticks and boxes of crayons I picked up for 20 cents each during my mid-summer buying frenzy). Unfortunately, the entire list was written in Spanish, so I have to take my son’s translation at its word.

He’s in a Spanish immersion program, the hope being that his early start will give him a good shot at learning the language).

The list renewed an argument my son and I started when school ended in June. He came home on his final day of school, pulled his ratty old notebook from his backpack, and began tearing out the pages that had been used. He told me he intended to reuse the notebook when school started up again. My blood ran cold. I may have mentioned before that my fondness for spiral-bound notebooks borders on being creepy. Little gives me as much pleasure as a brand-new notebook and its promise of words yet written. When I give my child a pristine notebook each fall, it symbolizes a fresh start to a new school year.

I told all of this to my son. He’d have none of it. He formed a rational argument about wasted paper and the need to protect our planet by recycling and reusing. I did what I always do when I sense I’m losing an argument to one of my children. “We’ll discuss this another time,” I said.

It’s never too early to start thinking about making next school year great for you and your kids.

And that’s why we’ve launched this new website. Welcome! Who the heck are we? You can check out our about us page, but basically we’re the folks from PTO Today—the magazine for school PTOs and PTAs—and we’re excited to be helping all parents get connected to their kids’ educations and their kids’ schools.

A few other bloggers and I will be back regularly with thoughts and links and highlights. In the meantime, I’ll be trying to make sure my own 4 little ones don’t forget everything they learned this year before heading off to school in August. (Summer Amnesia? You can avoid it.)

Take a look around. We’d love to hear what you think, ideas for more ways we can help, and—what the heck—even your own back-to-school tales of woe and wonder. You can use the comments section below to jump into the conversation. Enjoy!

Tim