School Family

That’s the intriguing question posed by Lisa Belkin over at the NYTimes moterlode page.

From where I sit, the answer is clearly “yes”, but I think it’s probably the wrong question.  Better to ask if parents can be too involved in helping their kids have school success, and then i think the answer is:  “Not if that involvement is done right”.

Rare is the school that has to turn away parent volunteers and where teachers wished parents would be less connected.  And parent involvement done right includes just the kind of balance and systematic loosening of the reins that Lisa is looking for.  Moreover, involvement is a lot more than attending meetings and school events (though I love those for their involvement benefits and their community-building elements); involvement also includes appropriate partnering on homework and school progress and making sure your child has the support he or she needs to flourish in his or her own way.

Our feature on the value of getting involvement right is a key part of this site’s DNA.  We also have a good quiz to determine if you are a classic “Helicopter Parent“.  

(Note: the comments on the NYTImes site make for an interesting read, too, including a healthy, heated discussion about cultural and ethnic differences around involvement.)

I’m sure you’ve heard that our schools are failing us, that international students kick our kids’ fannies on tests, and that we’ll all be working for the Chinese and Indians in just a few years, right?  Those assertions have always troubled me, as they just don’t seem to fit with the fact that our country is still leading innovation and taking care of much of the world financially.

Finally, though, there’s some sanity in the discussion. While I do know that there is plenty we can do better in our schools, Jay Matthews — the best education columnist on the beat — adds a much-needed dose of facts and reality to the discussion. His conclusion?  The sky is not falling on our schools.  I agree.

Key points from the piece:

• If you’re going to compare test scores, helpful if kids taking the tests are same age or taking test after same prep.
• If you’re going to compare career paths, helpful to check if “engineer” means same thing in both countries.
• If one country (the US) aims for the most part to keep all of its students in traditional high schools and another siphons off (early) many of its lesser academic stars straight to career-training (and doesn’t test those students), then do you have an apples-to-apples comparison on testing?

In the end it comes down to how you and your school are doing with your child?  Is he or she challenged? Are you connecting and getting involved and keeping things on a good track? Or you encouraging life-long learning?  That’s what this site is all about, and it’s importnat that we don’t let doom-and-gloomers tell us that we can’t do it well. Thanks Jay!

Little blurb here about the value of actually saying “no” once in a while to our kids.  It’s apparently part of a wider program in Minnesota called: “Say Yes to No.”  Interesting.

I felt like the spirit of the linked anecdote captured our goals with the site pretty well.  We’re about helping parents be good school parents — how to do that, why to do that, community among other parents taking on the same challenge.  We’re not about being super-parents or raising the most amazing — get them their college scholarshoip before they’re 12 — kids ever.  Just about trying to do things right, while maintaining some sanity and balance.  And having some fun.  I do believe that saying “No” at the right times and with consistency is part of that mix. 

Off my soapbox now.  Funny — I’m off to one of the toughest nights of the year to say NO — Halloween. Boo!

Hope that headline is clear enough, but - man-oh-man! — I really can’t stand it when regulators go crazy and good intentions go way, way too far. That’s what’s happening in California, where new, increasingly egregious food regulations are being phased in.  The end result?  Basically the end of bake sales.  And the end of a whole host of additional perfectly fine traditions and habits at schools.

One of these schools has no more dessert at lunch.  That nice office secretary who’d always have a peppermint for you when school was feeling particularly difficult in some way?  That peppermint is gone, too. (Thank God for the peppermint police!) The kids can’t have a hot dog sale that they used to have to fund a trip.  Well, I suppose they could, if the hot dog was vegan.

(Note: before my vegan friends get up in arms.  I have no problem with your vegan hot dogs.  I’ve had a couple. But regular ol’ hot dogs are not causing obesity.)

What about parents making choices for their kids? A slice of pizza for lunch isn’t child abuse. A bake sale isn’t criminal.  And — heck — my buying a box of hi-fat cookies from the Sally Foster catalog is none of your darn business. It’s as if we’re equating Christmas cookies with guns and ammo.

I’ll stop.  But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  Same thing happening at your school?  As parents, how can we step in and bring sanity back?

I always find “The Juggle” blog from the Wall Street Journal (yup — the WSJ) to be thought-provoking and timely, especially this post about which parents should get the good parent-teacher conference slots?  The writer’s good questions have created quite a discussion around whether after-work time slots should reserved for working moms and dads (and conversely, should stay-at-home parents be required to take daytime slots?).

Why do I see this becoming the next great school auction item?  Can you imagine the bidding wars for that coveted 6 PM slot?  Heck, I’m sensing a solution for the school funding crisis, too. Bids for the nice 4th grade teacher?  Bids for the late bus stop (so whole family can wake up later)? Bids for the late lunch (so “lunch” isn’t at 9:40 AM)?  Hmmmm — going to have to work on this one. 

Meantime, would love to hear your thoughts on conference schedules.  How does it work at your school?  Does it work effectively at your school?  Any good stories of conference angst and agita?

And, of course, we have our own parent-teacher resources on the schoolfamily site, too.

Really like this idea from a couple of kids at a Florida school.  (And — yes – I may especially like it because we’re right in the middle of our 4 fall birthdays at our house.)  The spirit and simplicity of this plan is very appealing. Birthday Party + Charity + PTO Plaque = great combo!

If you have time, click the link and maybe even commend these kids on their program.  If not, the nutshell is that kids in this school can choose to support a charity for their birthday party in lieu of the various toys they don’t really need. Added touch: the kids make a trip to deliver the gift as part of the party, and the birthday boys and girls get remembered forever on the school’s Birthday Club plaque.  Very cool.

One of the things I’m enjoying most about our schoolfamily.com site is how the content and tools keep growing week after week. Rather than big 2.0 and 3.0 launches, our team works behind-the-scenes adding more and more to the site to help parents.

One of my favorite areas is fairly new; it’s our Print-and-Use Tools for school parents — all kinds of things that you can print out to make things more sane for us busy moms and dads.

Just a few examples include:

• Homework Checklist
• School Week at a Glance
• Reading Incentive Chart
• Get Ready for School Checklist
• Back-to-School Conference Questions

Have requests for more tools?  We’d love to hear about them (leave a comment here and we’ll be sure to check them out). And be sure to check out the whole site often, as things change (and get better and better) all the time.

At least that’s the trend in this Australian district where — due to new technology — kids are being encouraged to text away right under the teacher’s nose.

This application sounds pretty powerful, but — man — can i think of about 89 ways kids can use this particular tech advancement to create havoc in the class.  Call me a Luddite (or a former high school teacher who liked order), but I suspect there’s a long way to go and a lot of safeguards needed before this trend takes hold.

Do you want your kids texting in class?   

Liked this perspective from Ann Handley over at the This Mommy Gig website.  Ann’s rant starts while shopping for toys and noticing how every toy now needs to be somehow connected to a developmental goal.  Her point — what about just simple “playing”?

So my question here at SchoolFamily.com is — has this trend moved into your school? As a parent are you part of the trend?  Or fighting it?  I guess I’d say I’m half-guilty.  I certainly love it when my 6-year-old scores a few goals, and I know what reading group my kids are in (even though officially they aren’t leveled), but I’m also not dying over every win or loss in peewee soccer or worrying that my 4th grader’s essay isn’t Pulitzer-quality.

What’s your competitive quotient?

Sometimes the simple, direct stories are best. Think that’s the case with this very straightforward look at how parents should proceed when their kids’ grades disappoint. No magic potions or cures.  But good solid, step-by-step advice.