School Family

That’s the intriguing question posed by Lisa Belkin over at the NYTimes moterlode page.

From where I sit, the answer is clearly “yes”, but I think it’s probably the wrong question.  Better to ask if parents can be too involved in helping their kids have school success, and then i think the answer is:  “Not if that involvement is done right”.

Rare is the school that has to turn away parent volunteers and where teachers wished parents would be less connected.  And parent involvement done right includes just the kind of balance and systematic loosening of the reins that Lisa is looking for.  Moreover, involvement is a lot more than attending meetings and school events (though I love those for their involvement benefits and their community-building elements); involvement also includes appropriate partnering on homework and school progress and making sure your child has the support he or she needs to flourish in his or her own way.

Our feature on the value of getting involvement right is a key part of this site’s DNA.  We also have a good quiz to determine if you are a classic “Helicopter Parent“.  

(Note: the comments on the NYTImes site make for an interesting read, too, including a healthy, heated discussion about cultural and ethnic differences around involvement.)

Am glad to see some sanity injected (from a college admissions officer, no less) into the discussion of how much we need to schedule our kids.  The popular myth seems to be that if Johnny isn’t in every club and activity (or traveling team), then Johnny isn’t going to get into college.

But this expert advises moderation in kids’ schedules.  Phew!   Sounds like the prescription is: active, healthy kids = great.  Over-scheduled, stressed-out kids = not the best idea.  The good news is that this particular prescription can wind up easing a lot of parent pain, as well.  

This is a guest post by Cindy Golden from www.omacconsulting.blogspot.com. Cindy is a Special Education Supervisor with the Cherokee County, Georgia School District.  She has been in special education for the last 26 years.  Cindy was employed as a Psychologist, serving several schools K-12.  She also served several years as the Psychologist in a psychoeducational center which served students with severe emotional and behavioral disabilities in addition to Intellectual Disabilities and Autism Spectrum Disorders. Cindy is the author of a popular blog: www.omacconsulting.blogspot.com which focuses on the education and parenting of students with autism.  Cindy also has a book on autism that should be published soon.

“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Remember that line? Well, if you have walked into today’s classrooms, you might very well be echoing that sentiment.  Things are not the same as when you grew up.  Still, in order to help your child be successful in school, you have to understand today’s classroom.

In order to understand today’s classroom, you have to be informed and be involved.

Here’s what you need to do to be informed:

•    Know the Standards

Teachers’ plans are based on state standards and the students’ standardized testing is, of course, also based on standards.  Do you know the standards on which your child’s academic day is based?  There are ways to find these.  You can contact your school district or your state’s Department of Education website for a copy of these standards.

•    Understand the Curriculum Map

Do you remember getting your new books at the beginning of the school year?  As children, we would flip through the books, scanning the chapters and what we were going to study.  The teacher’s goal would be to complete the book by the end of the year – not before – but timed perfectly to the end of the year.

Well it isn’t done that way anymore.  Today, curriculum is based on standards and not the textbook.  Teachers use a plan or a map to accomplish the standards, hence the name ‘curriculum mapping’.   Ask your child’s teacher for a syllabus or plan for each subject for the year.  It helps you to know what is coming up and when.

Now here’s what you can do to get involved:

•    Get a copy of the standards for your child’s grade
•    Create a calm, peaceful home area in which your child can do schoolwork
•    Establish a routine
•    Be available to assist your child with schoolwork
•    Plan ahead with your child for upcoming projects and tests
•    Don’t do anything for your child that he or she is capable of doing
•    Be in weekly contact with your child’s teacher.
•    If your school district has an online website that enables you to track your child’s grades, learn how to use the website
•    Get involved in your child’s school

It’s a fair question (and one of my pet peeves) asked by this Detroit Free Press blogger: why do the first two weeks of school have to be fundraising ground zero? 

I know the two biggest reasons: 1) Schools need the money more than ever; and 2) there’s almost a race to beat the other fundraisers that will be dipping into parents’ pockets, but I still think a bit of patience is warranted. Wow me. Get me (and the kids) to love school. Impress us with your commitment to education and our families and kids.  Make me love you.  And then ask me for my $10!  Not vice versa.

If you’re a features writer for a local paper, here’s my response to the column you’re about to write trashing all fundraisers. (It happens every year.) I wrote it for our ptotoday.com site (for PTO and PTA leaders), but it works over here, too.

What’s your take on the influx of fundraising?

Not exactly light reading, but if you’re looking for a good read on the hows and whys of getting involved with your child’s school, this parent involvement Q&A with a Connecticut district’s parent involvement coordinator captures all the angles.  Good stuff.

Short and sweet — and right on the money!  CNN’s Roland Martin makes an impassioned plea here for parent involvement.  Love it.  As he says:

Show up on the first day and do not make it your last. There is no greater gift you can provide your children.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Great message for back-to-school.

Late notice, but I’ll be talking about back-to-school habits for parents tomorrow morning on Fox 25 in Boston.  Believe we’re set to go live at about 8:20 AM.  Will try and get the clip on here later this week, provided it’s not in HD (face made for radio — or at least lo-def!). 

This article on Conversations to Have with Your Kids in the Car hits just the right note.  I think sometimes — and we can be guilty of this on schoolfamily.com, as well — there’s a  tendency to make involvement seem so arduous, and it doesn’t have to be. 

We’ve got a great article on the site on “Parents as Teachers” that really hits home, as well.

This general concept covers two distinct battles on the involvement front.  One is having actual meaningful conversations with your child, and it’s obviously important.  But the second is simply making sure your child knows you’re interested and interacting.  Every conversation doesn’t have to be deep and real, but it’s important to keep asking the questions and opening the lines.  I like to say:  even if the answer to “how was your day?” is “fine” 121 days in a row, please be sure to ask it again on the 122nd day.

Love to hear your thoughts on the art of the sometimes-inane conversation…

Love the thinking in Denver — getting parents energized about staying connected with their kids’ education.  Heck — it’s what this site is all about!

For the Denver Public Schools  (and the — love this name! — Parent Empowerment Council), it’s a new program — the Mile High Parent Campaign – aimed at getting parents to commit 5,280 minutes per year (get it? one mile for the Mile High city) or about a half hour per day to connecting with their children’s education. Education (how to connect), inspiration (why to connect) and even prizes. 

I’m sure some will say that parents should do this without incentives or a half hour is not enough — but we love the spirit and creativity of this approach. So many districts give lip-service only to the importance of involvement.

What do you think?

So all 6 of us Sullivans are on vacation this week.  We’re at Smuggler’s Notch in Vermont (America’s Family Resort, they call it.) and — despite rain today — are having a great time.

After a year of typical parent and family craziness – arranging and re-arranging multiple schedules, school projects, work demands, kids’ sports, more homework than ever — vacation is providing a really unique insight into a year of school progress and growth.  It seems that having this more quiet time provides the necessary perspective to assess how all that craziness went.  Hard to make that kind of assessment in real-time between Little League games and bedtimes and school projects.

The good news is that things seem solid.  We came here last year, too, so it’s fun to compare what the kids were comfortable with last year and what they want to do now. A desire for more independence (for the older kids) seems to be the theme this year.  And I suppose that’s a good thing.

Of course, they also aced the “are you ready” quizzes that we have here on the site.  So I guess I can head to the pool guilt-free for the rest of the weekend.

Happy 4th all.