In fact, you probably shouldn’t. But you need to be aware and involved.

You should know where your child is, who’s with her, and what she is doing. And you should talk with your child about her day, her plans and her dreams—every day.

Some other tips for staying aware and involved:

• Get to know the parents of your child’s friends. Give your child and her friends some privacy when they are at your home, but make sure they know you might pop in at any time with snacks or to say hello.

• Let your child know you expect her to check in if the plans you have agreed on suddenly change.

• Give your child a checklist for homework, chores and other responsibilities. Have her check them off as she completes them. Review the list together.

• Talk with your child’s teachers at least once a quarter—and more often if she is struggling in any way. Look over her homework (that’s different from doing it for her) every night.

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