Experts say one of the best ways to do this is to include your teen in setting responsibilities in the first place.

Start simply. Talk about jobs that must be done at home. Ask him to volunteer for some of them. That key step—asking, rather than telling—can make all the difference. When he selects his own responsibilities, the jobs will more likely be done.

Most teens will rise to our expectations. But, if the jobs still don’t get done, do not do them yourself! It’s time to talk again.

Calmly review each job and why it is important. Mention the jobs that are not being done, and ask for your teen’s ideas on appropriate consequences for not completing each one.

Then, if a job isn’t done, there are no decisions to make and no surprises. It’s simply a matter of enforcing the agreed-upon consequence—and sticking to it.

Few things have a bigger payoff than helping your teen develop responsibility.

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