You are careful about the movies and videos that your child sees. But now your fifth grader is going to a friend’s house. You know that this friend is allowed to watch anything she wants.

Sooner or later, your child is going to meet up with families whose rules are different.

Here are some tips:

• Make sure your child knows your rules. Now is the time to build habits that you will want your child to follow when she becomes a teen. She shouldn’t feel that she has to call you before she eats a second piece of pizza. But if the kids are going bowling and no adult will be present, she should give you a call.
• Take the rap. If your child is going to a friend’s for a sleepover, call the parent. As you’re asking about when you should pick up your child, ask some other questions. “Will the kids be watching any R-rated videos while they’re at your house?”
• You could then ask that the parent choose something else. Or your child might even offer to bring a favorite video to share.
• Loosen up a bit if you can. A month from now, it won’t matter if your child ate an extra piece of birthday cake or stayed up past midnight. Save your worry—and your effort—for the things that matter most. Your child spends more time with you than anyone else. In the end, it’s your values that will carry the day.

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