Some children act out so much, they make it hard for others to learn. That’s when the school will let the parent know the child is in trouble.

You may agree, or completely disagree with the school. In either case, you need to respond and work with the school so your child can be successful.

Reynold Bean, author of How to Help Your Child Succeed in School, offers these suggestions of what to do:

• Listen to both sides. Give the school staff a chance to tell you what they’ve observed. Also, ask your child for her side of the story.

• Don’t play the “blame game.” Your job, as your child’s parent, is to make sure the situation doesn’t continue.

• Think about the future, not the past. What does everyone (you, your child, the teacher and the principal) need to do to work together?

• If you feel that the school’s handling of the situation is unfair, you don’t have to back down. Just ask what you need to do to appeal the decision.

• Finally, Bean says, remember that “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Teachers and principals really do want to do what’s best for all children. By working together, you are likely to find a resolution that will protect both your child and his classmates.

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