But your teen isn’t going. Ask her why, and she shrugs. “I’d rather hang out here and listen to music,” she finally says.
If you were the type of teen who loved big group activities, this may confuse you. Why doesn’t she want to go to the dance? Isn’t that part of high school?
Well, sure it is. But that doesn’t mean every teen will enjoy it. Many teens are simply shy. They don’t enjoy big groups. They are not talkative. They prefer to have just one or two close friends.
So what’s wrong? Absolutely nothing! If you want to help your teen, respect her personality. Never use words like “stuck-up,” or “loner.” Being shy does not mean your teen is not happy. It doesn’t make her a mean person. And it doesn’t mean she does not like people.
However, it’s true that shy teens may have a more difficult time
getting to know people. They may want to approach someone, but are not sure how to go about it.
If your teen welcomes your help, brainstorm with her. Think about subjects she could talk about to get a conversation going. Sports, schoolwork or a new movie she saw are some ideas.
Talk with your teen about rejection. Many shy teens fear it so much that they freeze up. As a parent, you can help here in two ways. First, assure your teen it happens to everyone. Second, let her know you will be there to help him deal with feelings of rejection.
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