This article is part of the following topics: Back to School Communicating With the Teacher Homework & Studying
Teacher's Tips: How Parents Can Help
Practical advice for working with your child’s teacher.
Communicating with your child’s teacher is one way to help him succeed at school. But just how often should you contact the teacher, and what questions should you ask? And when do a parent’s questions or behavior tip from appropriate to meddlesome?
We asked Jerry L. Parks, a social studies teacher at Georgetown (Ky.) Middle School and a member of the 2007 USA Today All-USA Teacher Team, to share his thoughts. Parks keeps in touch with parents through email, class websites, and phone calls. He is the author of Help! My Child Is Starting Middle School! A Survival Handbook for Parents.
What differences do you notice in students with involved parents?
“Parents who take an active interest in their child’s work and school well-being are one of the biggest contributors to my students’ success,” Parks says. Children of involved parents typically have higher self-esteem and have fewer behavior problems in school. And students’ grades usually improve when their parents become involved.
How can parents stay informed about their child’s school performance?
If your school posts grades online, be sure to check them often. Emailing the teacher is also a good way to get a quick status report. “Email has been a godsend,” he says, because it is “less intrusive for the teacher and less threatening for the parent.”
What are some questions parents should ask about their children?
Ask the teacher whether she thinks your child is giving his best effort in class and whether she has noticed any significant changes in your child’s behavior or grades, Parks suggests. It’s also a good idea to find out whether the teacher has concerns about the friends your child has chosen. Make sure you understand the teacher’s policy for making up missed work, and don’t forget to ask about the best way to keep in touch throughout the year.
What should parents do if they feel the teacher assigns an excessive amount of homework?
First, try to find out whether the amount of work really is excessive. “Ten minutes per grade level each night is about right,” Parks says. If the level of homework does seem like too much, think about whether it happens often or only once in a while: “Some units and projects simply require more homework,” he says.
How should a parent approach the teacher about this?
Don’t go in with the attitude that the teacher is wrong. Instead, ask for advice on how you can help your child deal with the excessive homework. “Allowing the teacher to suggest solutions is far more effective than challenging their wisdom,” says Parks.
How should a parent address a grade that the student feels he or she did not deserve?
Instead of being confrontational, calmly explain that your child is upset or confused about the grade. Ask the teacher how your child’s grade compared with the rest of the class or the overall grade level. “This will give the parent the information they really want to know without making the teacher feel threatened,” Parks says. It may also help the teacher realize whether the assignment was too difficult for all students.
Some parents are just not comfortable approaching teachers. How should they get started?
Keep in mind that teachers may also be nervous about talking to parents, Parks says. Break the ice by sending the teacher an email or personal note at the start of the school year, and be sure to attend your school’s open house to meet the teacher. If the teacher has done something that made a difference for your child, schedule a meeting to thank him. Finally, Parks suggests, join the school PTO. “There is security in numbers!”
Top 5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Children Succeed in School
Make sure your child is at school every day possible. “Missed work is generally more of a loss than made-up work is a gain,” Parks says. “There is no substitute for attendance.”
Designate a time and place for your child to do homework. If he does not have homework, have him use the time to read. “Routine is the essence of a child’s life,” he says.
Keep in touch with teachers, but don’t overdo it. “Most teachers appreciate parents caring enough to keep in touch a few times a term but do not appreciate parents expecting contact on a regular basis.”
Teach your child character—it “will improve social and academic skills more than anything else,” Parks says. “Some things are simply wrong, and the world your child will grow up in will punish crimes, so give your child a head start.”
Make time every day to talk with your child about the day’s activities. “Let them know you care, and really listen to what they have to say.”
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More information and ideas to help your kids in school this year:
Posted by - A Middle School teacher on Jan. 09, 2010
In reference to the parent that left the comment about not being worried about offending a teacher: You need to realize that by hounding a teacher with questions about your particular child, you are doing more harm than good. Realistically, your child's teacher has between 80 and 120 students to try and educated each day. To assume that that teacher should have to give you and your child more attention just because you are constantly e-mailing her than that student who's parent isn't constantly e-mailing is absurd. Do the math! Every e-mail sent to a teacher can require anywhere from 1 to 30 minutes to answer. If every parent sent e-mails just once or twice a week, when is the teacher going to have the time to really develop quality lessons and teach those lessons to the students. Parents need to realize that more often or not, it is the parents, not the students who can create the burn out. I'm not saying that parents should not stay in touch with their child's teacher, but if it's individual attention that you require on a daily or weekly basis, maybe the classroom setting is not the right place for your child to get their education.Posted by - IRENE BERNARD on Nov. 28, 2009
I ENJOYED READING YOUR ARTICLE. PLEASE PLACE ME ON YOUR EMAIL LIST. THANK ,IRENE BERNARD
Posted by - Dave on Jul. 24, 2009
Our high school uses e-Chalk for the website and classrooms where assignments, and class material is posted. It is a "Green" approach to save the forests and tons of copy paper used to communicates. It also gives parents insight into their childs work to support the learning process and provide a checkpoint on their childs grade. This past swine flu outbreak, with many students absent, it saved many hours for the teachers who used it and peace of mind for the parents looking to keep their child up to date with school work.Posted by - Laurie on Dec. 17, 2008
I think if teachers aren't getting the content to the kids in a way that the kids understand - then the parents may need contact with the teacher OFTEN! Teacher's are not gods. Often, they are close to being burned out. I refuse to allow my child's educational needs to suffer just because I don't want to "offend" the teacher. Yes, teacher's have stressful jobs, so do many of us. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be held accountable. If a parent needs more involvment to know what's going on in the classroom and with their child's education - then so be it. Ultimately, they are OUR children. The buck stops with us.Posted by - GMS PARENT on Oct. 19, 2008
I think these tips are great. I must say that Mr. Parks is a great teacher. I will be using these tips through out the year. My daughter is in his class, and she loves it. We moved from a big city and she had some self esteem issues that lead to her being around the wrong crowd. She was going through the shell shock of being a 6th grader. I didnt want to repeat this same act so this year I contacted her teachers and explained to them my concerns with my child. I must say this year has been much better for her. Thank you Mr. Parks for understanding your students, but must of all I am thankful for the way you teach. The students enjoy the class but at the same time they are learning.GMS MOM
Posted by - L.C.Healy on Sep. 17, 2008
Our P.O.S.T. organization just received this publication @ Back To School Night. Excellent writing!Posted by - Amanda on Sep. 13, 2008
I am finding it hard to relate to my daughter teacher. This articles has a few good ideas I can try. I am looking forward to seeing if these work. It could not get any worse.Posted by - domestic diva on Aug. 31, 2008
my son is going into middle school, 6th grader and last year encountered problems minor,but consistent with a friend who just seems to be a bad mix, not a bad kid and this year, out of all the 28 kids in his classes last year at his elementary school this boy is in his class and I just don't want to temp my son into picking up the poor behaviors again. I would like for his class to be changed, I just think it would help him to see I am no longer tolerating any of the poor behaviors at all, it goofing off type stuff, but it becomes a problem when it is too much and I don't think teachers have time to keep readdressing a issue that I also don't like to readdress and can be avoided. Am I crazy for even giving it a try, last year when I finally got it under control and explained to the teachers who should very well know,but don't always have the drive to make things happen that I said school is for learning and it his behavior and school work is being effected then his friend has to be a friend and know that I am not playing and the games are for the appropriate time and school obviously isn't it.Posted by - Jim on Aug. 26, 2008
Regarding excessive homework, the "ten minute" rule is tried and true for younger students, but by middle school I think some children will need and others will want to spend more time particularly on math where repetitive problem solving is so important. My wife and I found that our boys needed help to spend the time required on math and so we hired a tutor.Posted by - Ailana on Jun. 25, 2008
This is the author who wrote that wonderful poem "What is a Middle Schooler?". I found it in his book: "Teacher Under Construction", and have it hanging on my wall at school.Posted by - Jenny Hoover on Jun. 19, 2008
This is excellent! Are all of these in his book "Help! My Child is Starting Middle School"? I wish you could have asked him more--these are really good!!Posted by - Marcy Abbott on Jun. 02, 2008
I will definitely use these tips for addressing my parent/teacher relationships...