Roles can have other negative effects. Your athlete may worry, “What would happen if I didn’t make the team or score the goal? Would my parents still love me?”
Of course, some teens do some things better than others. But our job as parents is to help them see themselves as well-rounded people. Sure, your daughter is a good athlete. But she also writes great poetry.
Your son is a great musician, but he’s also good in math.
Here are some ways you can help free your teen from roles, even positive ones:
• Look for chances to give your teen a new picture of herself. “Karen, this essay is really insightful. I learned a lot.”
• Give your teen a chance to see herself in a new role. Invite the musician to go for a run. Share a book with your athlete.
• Look for chances to praise your teen for doing things that are outside the assigned role.
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