We wish they’d focus on studying the way they do on sports.

But advice is hard for teens to swallow. They have a way of tuning out much of what we say to them.

Try this formula: three pluses and a wish. Before you give your teen advice, find three good things to say:

1. I appreciate how hard you’re working on your soccer game.

2. Your goal in the last game shows that you have really improved.

3. It’s clear that other players on your team look to you as a leader.

After stating three pluses, convey your wish or advice. “I wish you could bring the same commitment and work ethic that you have in soccer to the work you do for school.”

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