Ejector Bed

When wake-up calls don’t work, your child starts the day with a spring in her step!

Homework TV

A TV that reinforces your message: No watching until homework is done. A real breakthrough in family broadcasting!

Mini Mom

A replica of Mom, small enough to attach to a backpack. Prerecorded messages offer advice like: “Did you remember to bring home your spelling book? (pause) Are you sure? Because I’m not driving all the way to school to get it. (pause) Check again just in case.”

Wardrobe Slot Machine

Your child pulls the handle, and the machine selects a shirt, pants, socks, and shoes. The jackpot: a perfectly coordinated outfit with no help necessary from you!

Automatic Coat Closet

Coat, jacket, and sweater dispenser that’s calibrated to weather.com and your school’s recess rules. Mitten and hat supplier sold separately.

GPS for Lost Homework

Did the dog really eat it? Now you know.