He will also be expected to figure things out on his own through reasoning. Here are some ways to help your child move to working and thinking under his own direction, instead of someone else’s:

• Ask questions instead of lecturing. Asking questions helps him learn to change or fix things on his own.

• Describe instead of accusing. “You left wet towels on the carpet again! Don’t you know that can ruin the carpet fibers!” This approach will make your child angry and defensive. Instead, try, “There are wet towels on the carpet. I’m concerned this room will begin to smell like mildew.” Your child should be able to take it from there.

• Give two choices. With two choices, you are neither telling your child what to do, nor overwhelming him with too many decisions. Be sure both choices are acceptable to you. “Would you like to read the chapter now or after lunch?”

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