You can help your child by giving her control over some things. She’ll gain independence and hopefully responsibility, too.

Here are some examples:

• Allowance. Choose a few things your child will be responsible for buying, such as movie tickets or snacks. Her allowance should cover these items with a little left over for saving.

• Rules. You should make the household rules. But let your child make a few also, as long as they’re reasonable.

• Activities. Let your child help make family plans. Ask, “Where would you like to go out to eat?” Or, “Would you rather play tennis or baseball at the park?”

• Free time. Give your child some time for relaxing each day. Also, ask before changing her schedule. Say, “Does a dentist appointment at 3 o’clock tomorrow sound okay?”

• Homework. Children should do homework every day. But they can help decide when and where to do it.

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