It’s also key to being able to influence and motivate them to do their best.

A mom and researcher in suburban Philadelphia interviewed more than 500 children to learn just what kids don’t like that their parents do. Here’s what some of them said:

• Not communicating. They don’t tell us kids anything. You have to listen to their phone conversations if you want to find out what’s going on.

• Inconsistency. Rules are rules, unless mom’s in the mood to break them.

• Controlling. Mom wants me to do my own laundry, but she complains if I don’t do it her way.

• Nagging. Stand up straight. File your nails. Do your homework.

• Inflexibility. Bedtime’s nine o’clock. No matter what, I can have three pages left to my book . . . .

• Infallibility. No matter how wrong they are, they never apologize. Never.

• Dishonesty. They lie to make things seem okay.

• Illogical consequences. No matter what you do, you get grounded.

• Overreacting. If I’m, like, five minutes late, I’m grounded.

• Hypocrisy. “Do as I say, not as I do.” That’s my dad’s standard rule.

• Lecturing. Dad can’t answer anything in less than a speech.

• Invading privacy. They knock and walk right in. They don’t wait for the “come in” part.

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