Just found this excellent year-long feature from New Haven, CT. The focus: how several parents made parent involvemnt work for themselves on their own schedules and within their own interests. Great, great stuff. And a lot for all of us to learn from.
The key take-away here (and this is coming from someone very involved in PTO and PTA stuff)is that the traditional entry points (Open House, PTO meetings) don't have to be your entry points. Those traditional structures are fine, and they work well for many.But they don't have to work for you. Find your own way to connect. Make sure your children know (and the school knows) that school is a priority for your family, but do that in a way that works for you. It's the involvement that matters, not the form of that involvement.