You’ve heard the term: Helicopter parents are those moms and dads who hover low over their children, ready to swoop in for a rescue whenever the going gets tough. But kids learn best when they’re allowed to try things on their own, even if it means occasionally failing.

To see where you fly on the helicopter spectrum—too low, just right, or totally off course—answer these questions.

1. The teacher calls to tell me my child has been disruptive in class. I:

1. Tell the teacher she must have it all wrong. My child is an angel.
2. Ask the teacher for insight into what might be causing the behavior. When I get off the phone, I talk with my child about it. Then I make an appointment to talk with the guidance counselor about next steps.
3. Tell my child to just behave, for goodness’ sake! How hard could it be?