That’s the intriguing question posed by Lisa Belkin over at the NYTimes moterlode page.

From where I sit, the answer is clearly “yes”, but I think it’s probably the wrong question.  Better to ask if parents can be too involved in helping their kids have school success, and then i think the answer is:  “Not if that involvement is done right”.

Rare is the school that has to turn away parent volunteers and where teachers wished parents would be less connected.  And parent involvement done right includes just the kind of balance and systematic loosening of the reins that Lisa is looking for.  Moreover, involvement is a lot more than attending meetings and school events (though I love those for their involvement benefits and their community-building elements); involvement also includes appropriate partnering on homework and school progress and making sure your child has the support he or she needs to flourish in his or her own way.

Our feature on the value of getting involvement right is a key part of this site’s DNA.  We also have a good quiz to determine if you are a classic “Helicopter Parent“.  

(Note: the comments on the NYTImes site make for an interesting read, too, including a healthy, heated discussion about cultural and ethnic differences around involvement.)

I’m sure you’ve heard that our schools are failing us, that international students kick our kids’ fannies on tests, and that we’ll all be working for the Chinese and Indians in just a few years, right?  Those assertions have always troubled me, as they just don’t seem to fit with the fact that our country is still leading innovation and taking care of much of the world financially.

Finally, though, there’s some sanity in the discussion. While I do know that there is plenty we can do better in our schools, Jay Matthews — the best education columnist on the beat — adds a much-needed dose of facts and reality to the discussion. His conclusion?  The sky is not falling on our schools.  I agree.

Key points from the piece:

• If you’re going to compare test scores, helpful if kids taking the tests are same age or taking test after same prep.
• If you’re going to compare career paths, helpful to check if “engineer” means same thing in both countries.
• If one country (the US) aims for the most part to keep all of its students in traditional high schools and another siphons off (early) many of its lesser academic stars straight to career-training (and doesn’t test those students), then do you have an apples-to-apples comparison on testing?

In the end it comes down to how you and your school are doing with your child?  Is he or she challenged? Are you connecting and getting involved and keeping things on a good track? Or you encouraging life-long learning?  That’s what this site is all about, and it’s importnat that we don’t let doom-and-gloomers tell us that we can’t do it well. Thanks Jay!

Little blurb here about the value of actually saying “no” once in a while to our kids.  It’s apparently part of a wider program in Minnesota called: “Say Yes to No.”  Interesting.

I felt like the spirit of the linked anecdote captured our goals with the site pretty well.  We’re about helping parents be good school parents — how to do that, why to do that, community among other parents taking on the same challenge.  We’re not about being super-parents or raising the most amazing — get them their college scholarshoip before they’re 12 — kids ever.  Just about trying to do things right, while maintaining some sanity and balance.  And having some fun.  I do believe that saying “No” at the right times and with consistency is part of that mix. 

Off my soapbox now.  Funny — I’m off to one of the toughest nights of the year to say NO — Halloween. Boo!

Hope that headline is clear enough, but - man-oh-man! — I really can’t stand it when regulators go crazy and good intentions go way, way too far. That’s what’s happening in California, where new, increasingly egregious food regulations are being phased in.  The end result?  Basically the end of bake sales.  And the end of a whole host of additional perfectly fine traditions and habits at schools.

One of these schools has no more dessert at lunch.  That nice office secretary who’d always have a peppermint for you when school was feeling particularly difficult in some way?  That peppermint is gone, too. (Thank God for the peppermint police!) The kids can’t have a hot dog sale that they used to have to fund a trip.  Well, I suppose they could, if the hot dog was vegan.

(Note: before my vegan friends get up in arms.  I have no problem with your vegan hot dogs.  I’ve had a couple. But regular ol’ hot dogs are not causing obesity.)

What about parents making choices for their kids? A slice of pizza for lunch isn’t child abuse. A bake sale isn’t criminal.  And — heck — my buying a box of hi-fat cookies from the Sally Foster catalog is none of your darn business. It’s as if we’re equating Christmas cookies with guns and ammo.

I’ll stop.  But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  Same thing happening at your school?  As parents, how can we step in and bring sanity back?

I always find “The Juggle” blog from the Wall Street Journal (yup — the WSJ) to be thought-provoking and timely, especially this post about which parents should get the good parent-teacher conference slots?  The writer’s good questions have created quite a discussion around whether after-work time slots should reserved for working moms and dads (and conversely, should stay-at-home parents be required to take daytime slots?).... Read More

Really like this idea from a couple of kids at a Florida school.  (And — yes – I may especially like it because we’re right in the middle of our 4 fall birthdays at our house.)  The spirit and simplicity of this plan is very appealing. Birthday Party + Charity + PTO Plaque = great combo!... Read More

One of the things I’m enjoying most about our schoolfamily.com site is how the content and tools keep growing week after week. Rather than big 2.0 and 3.0 launches, our team works behind-the-scenes adding more and more to the site to help parents.... Read More

This is a guest by post by Angela Norton Tyler, of Family Homework Answers. Angela is a teacher and parent from the Sacramento, California area. She has been a classroom teacher, an elementary school reading specialist, and has taught courses at the college level. With a special focus on helping parents help their children become better students, Angela has put her energies into teaching parents how to improve the homework and reading skills of their children. In 2005, Angela published Tutor Your Child to Reading Success, and now conducts seminars about reading and homework for parents and teachers all over the west coast of  the United States. She also publishes Family Homework Answers, a site “devoted to helping parents and their children deal with homework.”... Read More

At least that’s the trend in this Australian district where — due to new technology — kids are being encouraged to text away right under the teacher’s nose.... Read More

Liked this perspective from Ann Handley over at the This Mommy Gig website.  Ann’s rant starts while shopping for toys and noticing how every toy now needs to be somehow connected to a developmental goal.  Her point — what about just simple “playing”?... Read More