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Teach Your Preteen To Value Compassion Over Popularity

In fact, it’s the number one goal of American middle-schoolers, say researchers.

When it’s too important, it can lead a child to neglect schoolwork. To be in the “in crowd,” a child might also:

• Reject old friends who aren’t so popular.
• Fail to reach out to peers who are treated badly.
• Drop an extracurricular activity because it’s not “cool.”
• Take up smoking or other unhealthy habits to fit in.
• Become anxious and/or depressed.

Parents must watch for these signs. But they must also help children with their struggle to be accepted.

Dwelling on your child’s popularity isn’t the answer. Teaching him compassion is.

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To help your child see he can be both popular and nice:

• Encourage him to take a stand against cruelty. Teach him to treat everyone with respect. Reward him for kindness.
• eed a passion. Playing chess or camping helps a child develop a range of skills. This makes him more socially adept—and ultimately nicer.
• Look for fun outside school. Being in religious or volunteer groups helps a child see groups can have different rules of behavior.

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